On Prayer

advice, humor, writing

Title of RELIGIOUS: Apparent Atheist Asks Advice Columnist for Help Convincing Family That Prayer Is ‘Mumbo Jumbo’ — the Response Just Might Bring You to Your Knees.


Response: What’s crazy annoying about this “article”, is that in order to set up the pro prayer argumentation, with which I am totally fine, this obviously fictional “apparent atheist” fellow is created and depicted as a selfish idiot. This is anti Atheism propaganda disguised as a Tolerance piece. His imaginary brother is dying, and his imaginary family is trying to cope: grieving, mourning and panicking, but all he supposedly cares about is arguing about the futility of prayer, insisting on his atheism and fighting about it with his grandmother??! He then writes in to find out how to best relieve them of this one last coping mechanism? Hahaha I mean could this imaginary “apparent atheist” be any more of a douche?! Is he also wearing a wife beater and a trucker hat? Obviously the imaginary “apparent atheist” is mightily misguided and needs to be shepherded into the light by the obliging fictional advice columnist! For chirstssakes, come on! Is this written to bolster the self-righteousness of the Christian short-bus? Because none of the Christians I know would much appreciate this either, not only does it insult the intelligence on both sides of the “God or Not” debate, but it also fuels the unnecessary discord, I certainly did not need to be thusly irritated, but here I am, irritated, and full of them fighting words?

I can tell that a religious person wrote this, because the single-mindedness with which this fictional “apparent atheist” insists on the righteousness of his beliefs is actually more likely to come from a religious person, than from an atheist. In this case however, the tables are flipped, and the atheist is painted like a zealot in need of moderation, in need of being tempered and taught the ways of kindness and acceptance.

I think it’s important to note, that if you hadn’t guessed, I am an atheist, and I’d like to correct the wrongful impression of my people you might have been given by this “article”. It is my people’s unofficial opinion, that in the face of tragedy, whether you pray, cast spells, sacrifice turtles or drink hard liquor straight and without a chaser, you’re in the right. If anyone focuses on anything but supporting you, helping you or soothing you, then their problem is not that they are an atheist, it’s that they are an idiot…or a propagandist invention of a religious blogger.

Additionally, fighting with your grandmother is NEVER ok, unless she is a racists, a bigot or, God forbid, a fetish stripper. Oh and by the way, newsflash, prayer is Mumbo Jumbo. If there was a god, who could hear our prayers, how do you explain all the people who’ve lost their children to cancer, to meaningless violence, to natural disasters? Do you think they do not stay up praying to exhaustion, or do you suppose their prayers just aren’t as good as yours? Prayer is not a viable method of communication with anyone who can or will interject on your behalf, to think otherwise is just conceited. Whether there is a God, whether it is a dying child or the Super Bowl you are praying over, it is at its best an exercise in coping, wishful thinking or meditation, and at its worst, it is a ritual of immense egotism.

I’d like to say that I respect all people equally (which means not much, until I know they are actually good people), irrespective of their religious beliefs and do not come from a place of judgment (my absolute favorite devout Christian friend Radhika will attest to this) Live and let live, as they say. I am, however, entitled to my opinions on the subject of those beliefs, just as anyone else is entitled to theirs on the subject of mine.

Thoughts? Death threats? Anything?



31 thoughts on “On Prayer

  1. “If anyone focuses on anything but supporting you, helping you or soothing you, then their problem is not that they are an atheist, it’s that they are an idiot…” Loved that, and totally agree. I am a Christian, but I enjoy your point of view. Good post. Also liked, “Christian short-bus” -That was funny 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. My favorite line in the response to this “apparent atheist” was “But there’s a special X-factor ingredient that makes “prayer” different than meditation or other types of thought. That X-factor is humility.” I think all of your comments are accurate. This “apparent atheist” is as much of a figment of someone’s imagination as is God. And no human being, much less atheist, would take the time, after just learning that his brother was dying from cancer, to write a letter to an advice columnist (?) asking for advice on how to persuade his family that praying is a waste of time. Reading crap like that article makes my head explode; reading your post helps me put it back together again.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Only you get me Mr. Doobster! You’re not alone in your atheist spaceship, i’m right there w ya! Did you notice that one of the first words in which the responder described the atheist was “stubborn”? Like not “hey i know you dont understand but its ok do it anyways” he said “do it again ever stubborn feeling” or something like that. Not rational feeling, or scientific feeling lol, no atheist are so because they are stubborn! Its asinine, whats even dumber is that this is how they see us, like we’re total assholes? Fighting w our grandma at our brother’s deathbed!


    2. Oy Doobster, this is your best post yet! Lol!!! you honor me!!! 😀 so when i pitifully reblogged my own blog you got the hint lol!!! Bahaha!
      I wish you didnt close comments on you blog! I dont care at all where the comments go!


        1. Ahhaha i dont know that this situation merits “real nice” lol, but I really honestly dont have a preference, all the satisfaction for me is in the exposure itself! Which you graciously obliged me with already! Open it up, let’s see what falls out 😀


      1. Well, it’s gotten 20 views so far on my blog. I rarely reblog another’s posts, so I can’t say if that’s good or bad. And perhaps your rant was so complete, that even my “legion of followers” had nothing further to add.


  3. Well written. I am a believer, not in any organized way, but privately. It’s more early metaphysical I guess, if I had to label it. I would caution against using unanswered prayers as evidence.


      1. “If there was a god, who could hear our prayers, how do your explain all the people who’ve lost their children to cancer, to meaningless violence, to natural disasters”? I guess this is where I got the idea.


  4. I just woke up and I’m starting to read your post. But when I clicked on —>>>LINK TO ABSURD ARTICLE HERE<<<—, I got an “Unable to Connect” message, saying that my browser “couldn’t establish a connection to the server at http.” Please check your link. Now, without the benefit of having read the absurd article in question, I will brew myself a pot of coffee and read the rest of your post.


    1. WHATS FUNNY IS THAT THIS ARTICLE IS ACTUALLY IN A WORDPRESS blog, sorry for caps. So i reblogged it with this input and it appeared on the original bloggers comment section lol!!!! horror, I had to quickly delete it and redo the post. I had no idea that the format of reblogging was so odious!



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