On Slapping

advice, humor, writing

To slap or not to slap..Or..Quit your whining, ladies

There are a few different kinds of slaps, the “I can’t believe I gave birth to you” slap, the “you’re a dumbass” slap (commonly applied to the back of head), the “I hate your guts” slap, the venerable and always entertaining “bitch slap”, the “genital slap” (if you never saw one drop by my house on Sunday), and the most culturally acceptable of all, the “lady lover slap”…The latter is on my mind now.

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The “lady lover slap” is usually delivered by a woman’s hand across a man’s face, always preceded or followed by a righteous, burning glare, choice words and either a retaliatory punch, a domestic violence charge or an ardent act of copulation. Either way, I’m gonna be a total stick and the mud, and say that it BOTHERS me. Today I watched two TV shows, Cedar Cove and Dallas (I don’t want to hear any smack, so I have bad taste in TV) lady slaps were delivered on both with the accompanying noise effects. If you watch modern day television, you know that this is completely common, can’t hardly flip through channels without seeing some poor chap get smacked across the face by a rosy palm. I consistently cringe.

What is that? Have any of my MALE readers ever been slapped? Does this still really happen anymore?

On Cedar Cove a boy tried to steal a kiss from a girl who was clearly depicted as having feelings for him, but wasn’t ready to admit it, SLAP. I felt for his face. When I see this flippant propagation of a vintage, backwards behavior from a time long gone, I am offended for both men and women. Some might see a girl slap a guy for stealing a kiss, and think it’s cute, harmless, romantic even. Some women might think it’s a deserved advantage, a concession due a woman, since historically women have been the ones on the receiving end of violence and mistreatment from men. It’s crazy stupid is what it is.

There is an evident cultural acceptance of women slapping men, but I think it’s linked in some way to the cultural expectation of men being cads to women. Let me be clear about my position, men being cads is not ok, (but that’s a whole other post) women slapping them in retaliation, also not ok. In fact, cultural acceptance and popularization of gal on guy slapping sets the feminist movement back decades. It’s not an actual advantage to accept women slapping men while unequivocally opposing men striking women. It’s a placating behavioral handicap (horse racing ref), which continues to place women on a dubious pedestal beneath men. We are weaker, we are more emotional, we are less restrained, so whilst we are flinging around our spurned phalanges, men patiently grin and bare it. To summarize:

  1. A) that’s just how crazy girls are (especially when they are on their period!)
  2. B) it’s not like they can do any damage
  3. C) I probably did something to deserve it, small price to pay

And then we wonder why men don’t see us as equals, why we are at a disadvantage in the work place and why they can’t imagine a lady president. 

Acceptance of slapping as a behavioral norm is in a way an acceptance of the behaviors which inspire the slapping. It’s the restitution offered to women when men do wrong by them. It’s a bribe! Slapping perpetuates the idea that men victimize women in interpersonal relationships. Women cannot take care of themselves & their hearts, so they are granted this one small exemption from the “violence is bad” rule, that’s the placation I spoke of earlier. Slapping is a victim’s reaction. I’ve never felt like a victim. I never felt entitled to hitting anyone, and God knows I dated an asshole or two. If said asshole was an asshole to me, I blamed myself for making a poor choice in man and exited the relationship without degrading myself by physically assaulting said assholeEveryone is just out there trying to get theirs, whether it’s just sex, love, or whatever the heck else. We are all responsible for our own happiness, MEN ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR OUR HAPPINESS < WE ARE. SO WHEN THEY FAIL US, IT DOESN’T ENTITLE US TO A CARD BLANCHE, whether it be one of a small act of violence or destruction of property.

The minute women stop acting like victims, stop exercising the ‘behavioral slack” extended to them by society in recompense for men’s caddish ways and accept responsibility for their unhappiness, the plight for gender equality will get a serious boost. To summarize, quit whining about every douche bag who ever broke your heart, running around with your romantic traumas like a chicken with an egg, and definitely quit slapping men & keying their cars.                                                                                   

The only way to get even is to get equal. 

In practical terms, the popularization of ladies slapping the gents is deeply irresponsible. Domestic violence experts assert that women who inflict minor acts of violence on their male partners have a higher-than-normal probability of being severely assaulted by those partners. Hmm.

Bottom line, I’d like to not see women degrade themselves on television. Wake up Hollywood.

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53 thoughts on “On Slapping

              1. And you’re demonstrating the wonder of a closed mind and an inability to recognize … Ah, never mind. It’s pointless. It’s too easy for you to judge. The difficulty of understanding is clearly far beyond your limited capabilities.

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                    1. Hey did you delete that precious bit where you pose the question
                      Of “whats a man to do when a woman slaps him, is he supposed to just stand there and take it”? I cant find it in the thread, all i see is my response to it and then you calling me “disgusting”. Thats called a justification buddy.

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                    2. Sorry, but see this is the problem … I never typed that. I actually looked at WordPress to see if I could delete all of my comments because I thought the entire thread reflected poorly on the both of us. There is no ability for me to delete comments posted on somebody else’s blog. Or at least none that I was able to find. So, here’s a novel idea … maybe you imagined it.

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                    3. Firstly, you’re the only one reflecting poorly coming onto my blogspace and whining about grey areas in which beat downs on women are ok. Grey=ok. Its in your first post to me “”I will never Understand the view point that women can slap men and men are just supposed to take it” what are they supposed to do? Hit back like ray here? Crack some craniums? Anyways i am 100% done talking w you about this. I see you started a whole sympathy thread on your own blog there, please address all further chatter their. Respect my space by going away.

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                    4. It’s real simple. You have the power to delete the whole thing. But as long as you keep trying to get the last word and twist what I say and other commenters are calling me a pussy, I ain’t going anywhere. It’s up to you.

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                    5. Well i am Not a pussy like you(that is such an insult to pussies everywhere) , i dont go around trying to delete anything i or anyone else has said, like you said you tried cus it reflected poorly on you. Then you tried to get ahead of the shane by making a post of your own with olympic grade back peddling. And good for you, your minions are buying it. You may stay. But these are my last words to you on THIS subject. Can’t speak for other commenters

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                    6. You’re funny. You’re the one that reported the whole thing looking for sympathy before I posts anything today. And if you think this whole thread reflects well on you, it’s only because you have the support of your minions.

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                  1. See, here’s the problem. Nowhere have I justified slapping a woman. More important is this … as far as I’m concerned people who think they are enlightened are the ones who make judgments and call people names without trying to obtain a greater understanding of their circumstances. I am not enlightened. That’s why I try hard not to make judgments about other people who I don’t know and whose circumstances I haven’t lived. You oughta try it some day. Now that you’ve read that, if you’d like me to explain it more slowly so you understand, let me know.

                    By the way … why are you still responding? I thought you weren’t interested in a dialogue.

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  1. Okay. Wow. First off, that was really well written. Clear, concise, and dense. I follow Kingmidget and commented on his post. I think that under no circumstances does a man hit a woman. Period. If a woman slaps me then the relationship is over. I just move on and don’t look back. If I stay then I am consenting to be hit. I’m saying it is okay. My other problem is I have a really bad temper. If I feel physically threatened a switch gets flicked and things can get ugly. I doubt I would ever feel physically very threatened by any of the women I’ve been with BUT I know I would never take that chance. I know myself well enough to know that putting myself in a position where I am being slapped repeatedly would make me a fucking moron who is just asking for trouble. Even if her pussy had beer on tap, it could never be so good as to endure violence for some of it. But I’ve never even come close to being with a woman who would ever hit me. And I’ve never been slapped. I once got kicked in the balls by a girl when I was in grade six and was scared to death my penis would now grow crooked. It did not. My temper now is much less than it was but I still need to be very aware and careful. Great post.

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    1. Hahaha! That was awesome, i hope it grew in ok! Thanks for reaffirming my faith in mankind, KM had me shaken there for a hot second! Hahaha. I like your perspective, that’s a real man’s lot, if she be crazy, to walk away, no need to Show her you the man, because all you’re then is a bastard and a wuss, i want to say Pussy, but thats insulting to pussies hahaha.

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  2. Reblogged this on misanthropy misunderstood and commented:

    My post about slapping, coincided somewhat with the Ray Rice story. Which attracted some unwanted attention, particularly from a Blogger who tried to convince me that things are not so black and white, that there is a gray area? & that since she started the aggression by slapping him, he could hardly be expected to just stand there and take it. The discussion thread is in the comment section of the original post, I would love some input from anyone with an opinion on the Ray Rice story, even if it opposes mine, since it seems like this subject is causing quite a bit of contention.

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    1. Well, let me just say that in your comment volley with Kingmidget, you certainly didn’t pull any punches.

      Oh, sorry, that may not have been the best way of wording that comment given the context of this matter.

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    1. Thanks for visiting, and thanks for the follow. Obviously i am apposed to all physical altercations between men and women. But i think you are mistaken in thinking that i will ever tolerate any injuring contact from a man to a woman, unless she’s got a knife or a gun and he is concerned for his life. I read your post and I’ll be very honest, I most ardently disagree with most of the content, in fact it’s appalling to me. Just being honest. I don’t need to know what had happened before and neither do i care, even if she was punching him all night long, that is some disgusting despicable shit that we saw. The fact that cringing in horror is not the only reaction that inspired in you, is indicative in my opinion of who you are. But that’s the beauty of wordpress we can agree to disagree and move on to the next debate. I hope the vitriol Ray Rice received follows him around like a shroud of shame for the rest of his life. Cheers.

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      1. So because I can cringe in horror but also be open-minded enough to realize that the video doesn’t tell the whole story tells you who I am … Please tell me, what does it say to you about me?

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        1. That you’re open to making excuses to a grotesque act of violence against a woman. Although you’re saying that you’re merely trying to mitigate the vitriol, what you are really doing is suggesting that it might have not been what it looked like. She musta done something to piss him off, he snapped, he’s had enough” Nothing matters or justifies whats recorded in that video. A 220+ man punches out a 100lbs girl and drags her out like a rag doll. Come on.

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          1. Now I understand. You’re a selective reader. I have stated several times how disgusted I am by what he did. The point of my post was not to make excuses for him but to try to get close-minded people like you who want to attack the man regardless of the circumstances to recognize that many DV situations are not as clean cut as you might think. Where’s the outrage that she slapped him and spit on him?

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            1. There is also no “but also” & no “circumstance”, your rhetoric is very obvious, you’re
              a bona fide misogynist, plain and simple, and not just a little bit. You either are capable of beating down a woman or you are not.

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          1. Shortest blog follow of my life. I need no part of your close minded black and white world. You have absolutely no clue who I am and what I am yet you have no problem tagging me with a vile description that doesn’t even come close to my reality. Yes you are disgusting.

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  3. Not so much a comment on the content of your post, but am wondering if you have ever seen the scene in a K-drama where the woman slaps the man with Kimchi! It has been aired recently, I think, you can find it on Youtube if you google….

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          1. hahahaha— I really didn’t do anything the first time. It was a misunderstanding… but I paid for a friend’s indiscretion.

            the second time I made one of my world famous snarky and completely inappropriate comments at a funeral, and deserved the slap.

            yeah, I kinda did like the first one. 😀

            Liked by 1 person

  4. I’m not a fan of violence in real life either. In a movie or comic book is one thing… since it is escapism… but I’m not a fan whether it is mixed gender or same gender. I make exception for contact sport, since its a mutually agreed upon waiving of civility for the duration of the game.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. First, I’m an old guy, as you know, but I’ve never been slapped by a woman — at least not that I can recall. Second, is “cad” still part of our vernacular? I thought that word was retired last century. Third, Cedar Cove and Dallas? Really? Fourth, I agree with you that it happens more on TV and in the movies than in real life, although I have no scientific or anecdotal evidence to back up that stated opinion. But some of those old time movie slaps were classic and classy slaps if ever there were any. Old Bette Davis was a master slapper. Humphrey Bogart seems to have received a disproportional number of such slaps.

    And finally, to your bottom line. The best way for you to not see women degrading themselves on television is to stop watching soap opera dramas like Cedar Cove and Dallas and to avoid, at all costs, any and every stupid reality show.

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    1. Your last statement has a point for sure. I like really bad tv when i want to give my brain a rest, sometimes it achieves an apposite end.
      But the penultimate statement, about classic slaps, is exactly what i’m talking about. All that awesome slapping happened during the time when there wasn’t a female ceo in sight. Its a relic from a time long gone, if it was cute then, it ain’t cute now, women have come to far to slap themselves back into the 50’s.

      Liked by 1 person

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