I lied. I have nothing exciting to tell you.
I finally got a new car, suffice it to say it’s fancier than i deserve. Few shortcomings in design have really stupefied me. Cup holders, completely unusable, retractable, flimsy appendages that are a sneaky scourge of coffee cups and their drinkers. Hot liquid everywhere. Another weird feature is a push button style ignition, fashioned though like a regular key which turns like a regular key, but does not come out. Instead there is another key that you always have with you. This make no sense at all. I have tried to pull out the mock key dozens of times only to remember that it is in fact a “mock” and to feel like an idiot. Well played germans, well played.
Recently I decided to be a little shameless and take up someone i just barely know on his offer to get me tickets to a sporting event. Yesterday, we picked said tickets up at will-call and there we were sitting in the very worst seats in the house up by the roof of arena, flanked on both sides by fat little kids throwing nachos at one another. I made the grievous error of assuming seats would be half decent and taking with me my very polished, fancy model friend and her fiancee. To her credit she didn’t complain once, sitting there in her loubotins with her armani clad fiancee amidst the unwashed masses. (Sorry, not sorry, I am a snob and a misanthrope by own admittance) I couldn’t handle it, we left early. She opted to finish watching the game. In this way i realized she is a better woman than i, and if nothing else, i came out of the ordeal with an added measure of respect for her and her man.
I had high hopes for The Imitation Game. Here is a summary of how i feel about it.
There were many glaring shortcomings here. The central problem for me is that this is a movie about a genius which treats its audience like grade schoolers. The lead was not relatable because he never seemed like a real person. I think it’s equal part bad writing/bad acting, but his autism played out so exaggeratedly, that the idea of him being aware of his homosexuality or having had sexual relations at all and worse with multiple men was not believable. Then there is the notion that everyone around suspects him to be a homosexual so it’s hardly ever a revelation, but what are these suspicions based on? We are simply told that it’s obvious, while the man we see presents with no sexual nuance at all. In fact the character is completely devoid of nuance of any kind. His relationship with the girl is also not believable, two misunderstood geniuses, underdogs connecting, an unlikely friendship, it’s the very stuff of emotional engagement, but not here, here it’s flat and dry, at best they always seem like acquaintances joined only by the common goal of decoding the Enigma.
Parts of the writing seemed exceedingly trite, like a bad TV movie. When he tells her he didn’t ever love her in an effort to push her away for her own good? Is this Nickolodean? It’s plain stupid, and somehow she believes him, slaps him and stomps off in a despondent rage. Come on, these people spent years together, they would know better. When his team finally stands up for him? But what’s this fierce, newfound allegiance based on? Apples? I think the key problem is that none of the climactic moments read real, and neither did the chAracters. When the most pivotal scenes come off as counterfeit, the entire film feels like a runner with no legs.
A scene that i thought was exceedingly sophomoric was in the end when he had finally told his story to the investigator and asks “so judge me am i a hero or a criminal” Fish much? And the investigator, astounded by what he had just heard, responds “i can’t judge you” etc. No duh, you can’t. Again it’s like a lifetime movie, what goes unsaid gets said, and whatever little bit of finesse or emotional restraint yet expressed through the writing is thrown out with the cheesy dialogue and one dimensional character development. Keira Knightly, whom i don’t usually like, is actually quite cute in this role, so there is that tiny redemptive morsel.
One day a really good film will be made about Turing, god knows he deserves it. The story of his life and works offers ample inspiration for something as brilliant, inspiring and heartbreaking as he was. This flick just isn’t it.
Saw another movie-Inherent Vice. The title alone seemed like something right up my alley. But this film has no alley, no purpose, no reason to be made. Unwatchable is the only word i can think of to describe it. Its singular redeeming scene was Josh Brollin sensually consuming a chocolate covered banana, i won’t lie, i enjoyed that.