Very exciting news! & The Imitation Game review

art, humor, miscellaneous, writing

I lied. I have nothing exciting to tell you.

I finally got a new car, suffice it to say it’s fancier than i deserve. Few shortcomings in design have really stupefied me. Cup holders, completely unusable, retractable, flimsy appendages that are a sneaky scourge of coffee cups and their drinkers. Hot liquid everywhere. Another weird feature is a push button style ignition, fashioned though like a regular key which turns like a regular key, but does not come out. Instead there is another key that you always have with you. This make no sense at all. I have tried to pull out the mock key dozens of times only to remember that it is in fact a “mock” and to feel like an idiot. Well played germans, well played.

Recently I decided to be a little shameless and take up someone i just barely know on his offer to get me tickets to a sporting event. Yesterday, we picked said tickets up at will-call and there we were sitting in the very worst seats in the house up by the roof of arena, flanked on both sides by fat little kids throwing nachos at one another. I made the grievous error of assuming seats would be half decent and taking with me my very polished, fancy model friend and her fiancee. To her credit she didn’t complain once, sitting there in her loubotins with her armani clad fiancee amidst the unwashed masses. (Sorry, not sorry, I am a snob and a misanthrope by own admittance) I couldn’t handle it, we left early. She opted to finish watching the game. In this way i realized she is a better woman than i, and if nothing else, i came out of the ordeal with an added measure of respect for her and her man.

I had high hopes for The Imitation Game. Here is a summary of how i feel about it.

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There were many glaring shortcomings here. The central problem for me is that this is a movie about a genius which treats its audience like grade schoolers. The lead was not relatable because he never seemed like a real person. I think it’s equal part bad writing/bad acting, but his autism played out so exaggeratedly, that the idea of him being aware of his homosexuality or having had sexual relations at all and worse with multiple men was not believable. Then there is the notion that everyone around suspects him to be a homosexual so it’s hardly ever a revelation, but what are these suspicions based on? We are simply told that it’s obvious, while the man we see presents with no sexual nuance at all. In fact the character is completely devoid of nuance of any kind. His relationship with the girl is also not believable, two misunderstood geniuses, underdogs connecting, an unlikely friendship, it’s the very stuff of emotional engagement, but not here, here it’s flat and dry, at best they always seem like acquaintances joined only by the common goal of decoding the Enigma.

Parts of the writing seemed exceedingly trite, like a bad TV movie. When he tells her he didn’t ever love her in an effort to push her away for her own good? Is this Nickolodean? It’s plain stupid, and somehow she believes him, slaps him and stomps off in a despondent rage. Come on, these people spent years together, they would know better. When his team finally stands up for him? But what’s this fierce, newfound allegiance based on? Apples? I think the key problem is that none of the climactic moments read real, and neither did the chAracters. When the most pivotal scenes come off as counterfeit, the entire film feels like a runner with no legs.
A scene that i thought was exceedingly sophomoric was in the end when he had finally told his story to the investigator and asks “so judge me am i a hero or a criminal” Fish much? And the investigator, astounded by what he had just heard, responds “i can’t judge you” etc. No duh, you can’t. Again it’s like a lifetime movie, what goes unsaid gets said, and whatever little bit of finesse or emotional restraint yet expressed through the writing is thrown out with the cheesy dialogue and one dimensional character development. Keira Knightly, whom i don’t usually like, is actually quite cute in this role, so there is that tiny redemptive morsel.
One day a really good film will be made about Turing, god knows he deserves it. The story of his life and works offers ample inspiration for something as brilliant, inspiring and heartbreaking as he was. This flick just isn’t it.

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Saw another movie-Inherent Vice. The title alone seemed like something right up my alley. But this film has no alley, no purpose, no reason to be made. Unwatchable is the only word i can think of to describe it. Its singular redeeming scene was Josh Brollin sensually consuming a chocolate covered banana, i won’t lie, i enjoyed that.

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25 thoughts on “Very exciting news! & The Imitation Game review

  1. Not sure how I missed this post yesterday, but it didn’t seem to show up in my reader for some reason, although I may just have missed it as I’ve been incredibly busy at work.

    So thanks for the movie reviews. I didn’t plan to see either one, but your reviews sealed the deal on that plan to not see either one. Don’t you ask where the seats are before you take someone up on an offer to score you seats? I guess not. Interesting that you didn’t mention which sporting event or even which sport was involved. And you also left out what kind of car you got to replace the Porsche you totaled. You said it was fancier than you deserve, but then complained about flimsy cup-holders and a faux key.

    I did like your drawing, though.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I would think The Imitation Game would be a your kind of movie….older people are obsessed with historical biographical dramas surrounding war times..so yes you’re welcome for sparing your that snoozefest. 😛 I didn’t think those details were of much interest to anyone, but who am i kidding, you like the details don’t you 🙂 and to you i shall provide them. Once i asked if he could get the tickets, i assumed, since we are all adults of a certain socio economic level, that the seats would not be like absurdly bad, add to that that his dad owns the team, i really thought it would be something average or better, not THE VERY WORST, i didn’t even realize seats like that existed, but again i don’t frequent sporting events. It was the Lakers vs Suns game in Phoenix. As for car, i replaced it with a nicer porsche, what else :), with the same awful cup holders. As for drawing, i just couldn’t find a suitable illustration for the post and it was readily available on my desk top. I love your questions :D.

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      1. Speaking as an “older people,” sure, I like good historical dramas, so long as they’re well acted and hold my interest. Otherwise, fuhgedaboudit. Thank you for the details. It is rather surprising that, given your certain socioeconomic level, coupled with the fact that your benefactor’s father owns the team, you would have been given such crummy seats. Perhaps you are not as well regarded by the team owner’s son as you thought you were. Another Porsche? Really?

        Liked by 1 person

        1. It is surprising, which is why i was sorely surprised, your mocking tone does not escape me sir, save me you judgements, i am merely being honest and diligent in my information delivery. And yes, he either just doesn’t give a shit, which is most likely..or he took it to heart that I did not want to sleep with him on one particular night when he was very drunk and made a pass. Either way I learned my lesson.

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          1. “…or he took it to heart that I did not want to sleep with him on one particular night when he was very drunk and made a pass.” Ah, now it makes sense. Hell hath no fury like a scorned lover. Or something like that.

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            1. I just wish he had warned me that those were the seats extended to me, i know i would warns someone if i was gonna put them by the roof. I would have gratefully declined and just purchased more suitable seating. Instead i am now in a distasteful position of being the kind of person who gripes about a favor someone did for me lol.

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          1. My wife had a Porsche at one time. A 944. Traded it in on a Beemer after a few years. She liked the BMW convertible much better. But you know, diff’rent strokes for diff’rent folks. Now we both drive a Mini Coopers, which car company is owned by BMW.

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            1. 944 is older than me, put her in a 2015 911 turbo, she’ll give up that mini cooper in a snap lol. I don’t actually care about cars or what people drive, at all, I happen to like what i like, but it’s not some defining feature of me, I’d be fine, although slightly sullen, in a prius. Like i said i like a performance car and i like a classic and i don’t mind a status symbols :P. I like gender bending cars too, you almost never see women in custom performance cars like that, I am doing my part for equality.

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              1. As an “older people,” my romance with sexy performance cars and motorcycles — and I’ve had my fair share of both in my time — has long passed. In fact, these days I walk and use public transportation a lot more than I drive. But I live in the heart of a big city, so unless I’m heading out of town, there’s not much need to drive a car around. And parking is a bitch. As to you being a gender bender, all I can say to that is “yeah, I bet you are.”

                Liked by 1 person

                1. I get that. like i said to each his own. what do you mean “yeah, i bet you are” are you being sarcastic?! Cus i am. Castration is serious hobby of mine, the car is an essential tool, razor sharp wit takes care of the rest 😛

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