On ennui, dog pounds, memes & Las Vegas

humor, miscellaneous, writing

I haven’t undergone any major epiphanies lately, sorry. Life’s been much of the same, nothing to gripe about really, but I’ll try anyways. Somewhat isolated out here in the gentrified desert, bouts of self loathing, a little road rage here and there, some brooding and wallowing, lots of coffee, rereading of Byron’s letters volume 3, an occasional Xanax to calm my idling nerves, lots of television (regrettably?), the cooking (amazingly well as usual), hiking with dogs a lot, riding of horse less than is my custom….etc.Sounds quite nice though doesn’t it, I work hard to remind myself of how nice it is, harder than I should sometimes.

first-world-problems-memeI hadn’t played tennis in a couple of weeks because I broke my strings on all rackets and it took me forever to get them back, also there is a hole in my tennis shoe :(, also because my hitting partner is ignoring me and I haven’t a suitable substitute. It’s hard to be very good at something where an equally good partner is required. Poor me.

imageSomeone asked me why my blog is so sort of “me centric”, asked why I don’t share more of my strong opinions about things that matter. The tone was markedly disdainful but somewhat masked by a compliment towards my “whimsical” writing style. As I am presently endeavoring to be more tolerant all around, I contained my knee jerk eye-roll and indulged, to some extent, the obnoxious querist. Firstly, I am not publishing a gazette here, it’s a “public diary of personal reflections”, it says so in the subtitle. As such, its primary function is to be all about me. Why? Is justification or cause needed for being self-involved in this medium? Ok. I am keeping record of my innermost thoughts so that in some far off future my brain can be reconstituted as a computer, with robotic reanimation and eternal life being the ultimate end goal of course. Also I don’t write a lot of opinion pieces about current events etc. because I mostly don’t give a shit, or don’t want to have to educate myself thoroughly enough on any meaningful subject in order to be able to really write about it. Maybe less people should express their opinions actually, cus few are informed enough to rightfully form them. A daily cocktail of ennui, apathy and sloth informs my creative efforts and outputs. Plus I wouldn’t want to make an enemy of The Atlantic, I don’t have a death wish. Additionally, Mark Twain said to write about what you know. Well all I really know is myself and my life, so I write about it. Is it indulgent to incessantly rant and rail as I do, sure, but is there a place better suited for this activity than a WordPress site, fashioned like a blog and read only by the hapless few who Google-search the word “slap” and are erroneously guided to my humble internet cubbyhole. Nope.

I spent Saturday at the Maricopa dog pound going through a two and a half hour volunteer orientation. I don’t know why I hadn’t gotten started with this years ago, I’ve thought about it plenty ever since I got my dogs from that very same pound. Wait I do know, being at the pound makes me very very sad, but I think I’ve wasted enough time choosing my peace of mind over whatever relief I can offer these dispossessed animals. I have chosen the necessary job of cleaning cages and tending to the needs of the animals on the Euthanasia list. I think I can do most good there, as my people skills are unpredictable at best. Adoption counseling and picture taking would go over easier on my nerves no doubt, but not on my conscience.


My infamous intolerance though did flare up during this “orientation”. As I sat there for a miserable 2.5 hours, all I could think about was the utter inefficiency of their process content wise. The two women leading the orientation talked and talked and talked, spinning endless, irrelevant tales and anecdotes about their personal experiences, their dogs, families and their shelter related career paths, with an occasional, seldom bit of pertinent information sprinkled in. It was so tedious and pointless, that I had to completely tune them out half way into the presentation. shut-upThough I know they are just eccentric, well-meaning sort of folks, I became deeply irritated with having my time thusly wasted by them. People, like myself, who drive up to 1 hour one way with the singular purpose of acquiring practical knowledge necessary for a specific task, needn’t be held hostage in hard plastic chairs for over two hours by two women who just want to talk about themselves. Amidst the blather I started composing on my phone a biting but constructive anonymous email, addressed to the two of them, about the virtues of time management, efficiency and conciseness. Writing out my frustration in this way helped stifle my ire and I mustered the willpower not to send it just then. This is probably for the better, since they both were/are, I am sure, lovely, warmhearted people, better in fact than most for having devoted their lives to helping the world’s four legged orphans. I had to center myself, remember my newly minted tolerance mantra, recite it and just sit there like a fidgety statue flipping through Koala memes on my phone.

On a better note, I am going to Vegas next weekend, this is mostly exciting because I get to see my most adored friend Anna from whom I am otherwise separated by 400 unbearably long miles! I am driving myself, which is a loathsome development, but the trip is so spur of the moment that I can’t justify the criminally inflated rate of flying. It is a robust 5 hour drive, which with my tiny bladder makes an 8 hour drive, and I am dreading it already. I am counting though on an exceptionally fun time there to prepare me for the 5 hour volunteer training session at the dog pound that is scheduled for the day after my return. Most certainly handling dogs on the Euthanasia list will turn me inside out and upside down, but I have to say I really look forward to helping and being of general use to them. I have been feeling more and more as of late, that the meaning of life has fallen outside my purview, I’d like to urgently restore it to its usual place inside my shiftless soul.

And, as always, I’d like to say that I miss my childhood and my grandma…and those pink pants. But mostly my amazing, beautiful, brilliant grandma, from whom I got all that is good in me.


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33 thoughts on “On ennui, dog pounds, memes & Las Vegas

  1. A thousand applause for your work at the pound. I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t face it. We rescue animals here (there are so many, and I’ve literally lost count how many cats and dogs we’ve taken off the streets, nursed back to health, neutered, and adopted), have eight ourselves, and help three NGO’s with everything they need, but i simply wouldn’t be able to tend to these animals knowing their probable fate. It would be just too sad, too painful. It needs to be done, though, and you’re a better person than me for being able to do it.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Weeell i’m just getting started so i’ll stash your applause for when i actually deserve them. If my adopted pit wasn’t very dog selective i’d have a herd of animals too and probably a divorce lol, luckily, she’s a killer & an excellent deterrent. Where do you live again? Australia?


  2. They say “write what you know…” but if I write what *I* know, then everyone will know it! How am I supposed to keep secrets if I go around blabbing “what I know” to everyone? So I write what you know instead… 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  3. First, whatever it is that is in those two pictures at the top of your post, they look delicious. I noticed that they are both being served on paper plates. Do you take all your meals on paper plates? (Not being judgmental. Just curious.)

    Second, it’s your blog. Write about what you want to write about; don’t write about what you don’t want to write about. Don’t let anyone guilt you into anything else.

    Third, good for you for volunteering at the shelter. Sorry you had to waste two and a half hours during your “orientation.” You should send your email. Without feedback, adjustments won’t be made.

    Forth, have fun in Vegas once you get past your 5 hour (8, with rest stops) drive to get there.

    Fifth, pink pants? And what is that sculpture behind you and grandma — the one you have your left arm wrapped around?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. yay a good doubter style comment. The first thing is an everything smoked salmon scramble, which means zucchini and red peppers are sautéed, then baby potatoes are added and fried then whipped eggs are added and tossed and finally hot smoked salmon is added, topped with salsa and avocado. Second thing is called Grenki in Russian, i think it’s kind of peasant foolish, but it’s bread soaked in a mixture of eggs and milk, i like to top mine with cheese while it’s still in the skillet! I hate cleaning, i am a very messy person, i would really prefer to have a staff of cleaning ladies just follow me around while i make messes, so yes, i use paper plates exclusively to minimize cleanup! some say white trash, i say efficient.
      I appreciate the condolences, i won’t send the email, because essentially this is one of those situations where the two ladies probably deserve to be humored rather than otherwise. It is a kinder, albeit more time consuming, path, and i am already on it. 😛

      You know i don’t know what that is, i will ask my mom. It is somewhere in Russia or Lithuania I imagine, my grandma was a beacon of culture, erudition and finesse, she took me to countless places filled with history, monuments, art etc. sigh…….and yes, best pink panted ever! don’t be jealous.


      1. One of my favorite breakfast treats is nova, eggs, and onions, but I generally like my potatoes on the side. And I’m not a fan of roasted peppers. On the second dish, I was wondering if it was some sort of combination of French toast and a Russian blini. Interesting.

        You don’t have a dishwasher (and I don’t mean a maid, I mean a machine)? I would think that using real plates and having a dishwasher would be more efficient than using paper plates, but I do understand the allure of just tossing out the plate rather than having to wash it. You don’t also use plastic knives, forks, and spoons, do you?


          1. Ha! Paper plates are fine, but silverware is a necessity. That’s funny. I don’t have a dishwasher in my apartment, so I wash my dishes by hand as well. But I don’t generate that many dirty dishes at any meal, so it’s no biggie. I just prefer something a little more substantial on which to put my food than paper plates — unless I’m on a picnic.

            Liked by 1 person

    2. also, i think the problem with my blog is that it’s like i am posts selfless but they are made of words and not pictures, I am a writing equivalent of those dumb vain girls j who constantly take selfless and post them, lol, so therein lies a somewhat valid criticism. But i am not worries about it because i do what i want, always, and if i feel like being self involved in this forum, then i will be 🙂


      1. I wrote a post about how blogging is narcissistic. In fact, in that post I wrote that blogging is “a selfie, but with words instead of a picture. It’s more than just “a bit narcissistic.” It’s the embodiment of narcissism. So I get what you’re saying.

        Liked by 1 person

  4. There is some weirdness going on. The first time this post showed up in my reader, when I went to view the original, I got a message saying “Oops, this post cannot be found,” or something like that. Then, the second time it showed up in my reader, I read it, I “liked” it, but I didn’t comment on it. And now it’s showing up for a third time. So is third time the charm?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I am goading you to comment. First time i published accidentally and deleted, second time i accidentally schedules it & when i saw it got posted deleted, third time i finally felt ready to post and posted lol! Now stop sulking and put down a good comment, sir.



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